So Much To do

I've been gone from Portland for two months... much longer than the three weeks I expected. It's nice to be back in my temporary "home" even if it is only for two weeks. The only problem is, I have so much to do in the next few weeks that its starting to stress me out. I don't know where to start!

In order to go to film school I first need to raise seven thousand more dollars (hooray for raising the first $1,000!). That means writing emails, calling people and putting together an info packet so people know what I'm doing and, more importantly, why.

The second thing I need to do (other than buying a plane ticket as soon as I can afford it) is finding somewhere to store all my belongings for up to six months. I would prefer not to pay for a storage unit because they're not cheap... but it may come to that.

This is all very reminiscent of the past. Eight years ago I quit my job working at the international school in Korea so that I could start a ministry to Korean prostitutes.

My future then was so uncertain, so unknown. But what I did know is that my stuff was tying me down and I needed to make myself mobile... and so I dug up all my roots, sold everything I had ran full steam ahead into uncertainty.

That was a strange, wandering season for me. I had an idea of what I wanted to do but I really didn't know how to get there. I floundered for about two years, trying out this and that until I settled on a clear direction.

And that direction was raising awareness internationally about human trafficking.

Sometimes, when you start new things, they don't really make sense at the beginning; there's a lot of wandering, a lot of zigzagging. It's uncomfortable and doesn't look entirely logical. And it can be hard to articulate to people. "I... um... and doing this... and I know it's a little confusing but I think it's the right direction to go but I can't really tell you why...."

And there's always stuff to give up too, like living where you want to live or selling your favorite comfy couch. It's somehow sad to see everything you own reduced to a few cardboard boxes.

Preparation for following your dreams is a leap of faith full of hope for something yet unseen. Yup. That's what it is. And it's nerve wracking.

Don't stress....