Unfortunate things about Christmas

Have I ever mentioned that I live within very close proximity to a large mall here in Portland? Well I do and usual my route home off the freeway takes me right through the mall parking lot. Which is normally no problem.

Except now it is.

Because it's Christmas of course.

So I've decided to be a total scrooge and write down 10 reason why I don't like Christmas starting with overcrowded mall parking lots that ruin my commute home.

10 Reasons I Don't like Christmas

1. Overcrowded mall parking lots that don't just ruin my commute home it ruins my entire life (yes a drama queen moment).

2. Retail-store-company-fueled propaganda brainwashing us to buy more, More, MORE!

3. Christmas music that was nice for about 20 minutes and then got old. Will I really have to listen to "Rock'n around the Christmas Tree" every December for the rest of my life? I despair.

4. Crowded freeways because everyone's trying to get into the mall parking because everyone's been brainwashed by said retail propaganda.

5. Ridiculously crowded retail stores.

6. Even worse are ridiculously crowded grocery stores. I catch myself wondering what major global catastrophe people are awaiting because surely that's why they're checking out with three huge grocery carts piled high. Oh.... right.... it's not a global catastrophe. It's Christmas.

7. The weather. It's not the weathers fault its Christmastime but by default the two go together. So Christmas means bleak, dreary, dark, rainy, dim, damp, soggy and miserable weather. I wish I lived somewhere it snowed for a day and then was sunny for three. I think I'll move to Colorado.

8. When it finally DOES snow and it inevitably, eventually turns to slush and slush is really the worst form snow can ever take. It's so juicy that it soaks your shoes through in 2 seconds, it's dirty from the sanded roads and it's ridiculously slippery.

9. Retail store propaganda and the panicked frenzy it stirs up amongst the masses. I said this already? Well, that's just how much I dislike it.

10. Horribly gaudy fake Christmas trees that don't even look like Christmas trees. This one looks more like a pistachio flavored Christmas snow cone. Come now people. In order to qualify as a Christmas tree, your tree must be a tree. Sorry, fake ones don't count. And neither do snow cones.

So there you are. 10 reasons I don't like Christmas. But before you get really depressed on behalf of my jaded, cynical self I must tell you that there are 24,935 reasons I DO like Christmas. One being the beautiful and warm fire that I'm currently sitting in front and two being the Christmas tree scented candle thingy  I'm burning. And three, I get to see my family soon, and four I can't wait for Christmas dinner, and five giving and getting presents is really fun as long as you can separate yourself from that retail store propaganda. And six...

You get the point. I could go on. But I'm not going too. Instead I'm going to go enjoy my fire and my scented candle. And here's a photo to prove it.