There are a few lessons I have learned over the past couple of months, new life philosophies I call them. I shall dedicate the next few posts to their discussion.

Philosophy #1
I shall not be cynical.

I'm tired of cynicism. I'm tired of my own bitterness and pessimism, especially when it's induced by exterior situations or people. Why should everyone else in the world control my happiness? Why should they have the power to make me annoyed and bitter? No more!

The world is not a happy place. I think I always used to think that the Church was an exception to that. It would confused me when I'd end up in front of a church board feeling like I was on trial, like I had to prove something to them. How can I prove that God has called me to something? How can I prove that God has promised to remain faithful and direct my next step even though I don't know what it is yet? "I'm sorry, we can't support you because you don't have a mission organization backing you up." How can I prove that God doesn't work in the little boxes we like to set up for ourselves?

Last year, cynicism, bitterness and pessimism worked itself so deep into my flesh that it poured out of my mouth in poison. People would ask me how things were going and what they would get was deeply jaded sarcasm about the world as we know it.

No more. The Church is made up of people and people disappoint. I have reduced my faith in humanity to a dull roar which, surprisingly, has allowed me to experience more joy and happiness. So what if churches don't get it. The fact is that I know God has called me to something and I know he will provide a way. So what if I end up on the chopping block of every church in the country! God will do something and that's where I'll place my faith, my joy and my happiness.