Home at last. Sort of. I mean, really, where’s home? The place where all your stuff is? The place where you know the most people? The place where your parents live? For some people the answer to every one of those questions is yes. Home for them is the house where they grew up, have all their old stuff, know lots of people in the community and where their parents live. Wow. I can’t even begin to imagine. I think I’ve lived a fragmented life when it comes to the whole home mythology. I have moved at least every five years of my life or more, usually a lot more. The cities I have lived include Sapporo, four different places in Tokyo, Hakodate and maybe more for Japan, Coeur d'Alene ID, Tacoma WA, Portland OR, Wheaton IL for the USA, and of course there’s Pohang, Korea. I don’t know if that’s an impressive list or not.

Well, anyway, I’m back in Pohang at the house I am currently occupying. My stop by the OMF office in Seoul proved inconclusive. I’m going to have to do more emailing and discussing before I can discover if OMF will or will not work for me. Something came up during my visit at the office that has spawned the following thoughts.

I am one of those types of people that doesn’t necessarily look their age. People usually think I’m four years younger than I am. To me it’s obvious that I’m in my mid twenties, the wrinkles and occasional grey hair gives it away. As I’ve begun discussing my ministry with people who don’t really know me the issue of my age always comes up. They pause and say, now how old are you? I don’t think they hear my answer, or perhaps they do and it reinforces what they've been thinking all along. You're too young to do this. I see it in their eyes. Next comes a quick glance at my left hand to see if I'm wearing a ring. No ring. I see their thoughts, young, unmarried and alone. She's an idealist. Then they give me a rather condescending smile and attempt to draw me back to reality. It's not as simple as you’re making it, one lady told me today. Don't be naïve, another man told me a while ago, prostitutes have serious problems that you need to be prepared to handle.

Does everybody my age get hassled by the generation that has “been there and done that?” As my generation joins the workforce are our fresh ideas and energy being slowly squelched by people who think they have figured out the world? Are we not allowed to have dreams? Can we not pursue our dreams without people telling us it wont work? Do I have to struggle with my own inexperience as well as fight against lies told to me by well meaning people? I have enough trouble believing I can do what God has called me to without people telling me I'm too young, I'm too naïve. I didn't choose this for myself. I didn't ask God for this call. I need them to believe that God can work miracles. I need to believe God can work miracles in me. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what people think but it takes extra energy to ignore them.

At times like this I wish I was tall, slender and had that very mid-twenties look. I'm never going to look mid-twenties, I’m too cute (so people say). Gorgeously beautiful people look intimidating, mature and in control. Cute people look, well, cute and innocent. It does worked to my benefit at times, like when I need help carrying my bags across airports. But that’s the problem, I look like I need help. So what happens when someone who looks innocent and cute wants to start a ministry to prostitutes? The whole world yells, No! But I yell, Yes and carry on ignoring them. I wish they’d just let me be.