My life is too big.

What in the world have I done with my life? Don't you ever want to ask that question? Don't you ever want to let the panic that you have so successfully repressed suddenly rise to the surface. Don't you ever want to really listen to the doubts and let the fear they elicit grind you to a halt. Don't you ever wish God would have just left you alone to tend to your own petty life?

I feel myself wavering, like a thin mirage in the distance. I feel my legs give out. A question reverberates in my head, What Have I Done?

To have faith as wide and deep as the ocean, to have confidence in the One I profess to trust. It is impossible but it is demanded of me. God help me.