Momentarily Un-trapped

I was on a plane yesterday for the first time in eight months. Yes. EIGHT MONTHS. Unbelievable that it's been that long. The last time I went so long without stepping foot on a plane was probably the year 1997.

Of course, my travels have been helped along by the fact that for a while there, I lived in Korea and frequently traveled to Japan to visit my parents. It also helped that I have a brother and an uncle who are commercial pilots so I could travel standby for virtually nothing. And, later on, it helped that I had to travel to Europe and around the world to raise awareness about human trafficking

Which makes me reflect on exactly WHY I haven't traveled for eight months...

- Hawaii is expensive to travel in and out of. The daunting price of a plane ticket makes me seriously think before pressing that "book it" button.

- I spent four out of the last eight months in an intensive film school program that had me going about 28 hours a day (yes, that's right. 28 hours. Those four extra hours were leeched from the time I usually spend dreaming. Time is always different when you dream... just look at the movie Inception).

- I've been in God's burn-out recovery program from eight years of working on the issue of human trafficking. This isn't an "official" program or anything, but it is valid and it's definitely working. One of the things I've needed to do is stop blasting around the world so fast, slow down and really process/deal with the last eight years. The Big Island of Hawaii is perfect for that since it's naturally isolated and there's not a whole lot of distraction available.

- I'm not a fan of cold weather and thinking about dealing with temperatures below 70 degrees intimidates me into staying on the island (not a good excuse, but true).

- I got a side-job at a Japanese tour company to help cover the bills. Having a side-job makes traveling complicated.

With all these reasons NOT to travel, why did I take the plunge and book a ticket? Mostly, it was a practical decision that involved desperately needing to touch base with my supporters and supporting churches in the northwest. That the true motivation.

The emotional motivating factors on the other hand, are much less practical. I wanted to see my friends in the northwest and I NEEDED OFF THE ISLAND. As an explorer at heart being trapped on a "big" island that boasts of only 4,028 square miles surrounded by 2500 miles of ocean in all directions makes me feel... squeezed.

I've daydreamed about rugged mountain peaks, sweeping landscapes, the bustle and confusion of large cities. I've wanted to know that I could to drive my car on a freeway for hours on end without ending up in the same place I started. I'm not ashamed to say that I've battled waves of claustrophobia over the last eight months. Yes, Island Fever does exist.

But I end up feeling the same way when I'm trapped in a big city with no escape, or in a tiny, isolated  town--which usually happens overseas where travel is expensive, or limited because of road conditions. In general, there's a running mantra in the back of my brain that kicks in after four weeks of being anywhere. It says "Get out. Get out. Get out!!" and is usually silenced by a hike in the wilderness or a jaunt into a big city... whatever is opposite of where I'm living.

So the last eight months have been a good exercise in self control to not let that mantra make decisions for me. I've had to fight it down in waves and focus on the bigger picture. Yeah, I know. Living in Hawaii isn't that hard but dealing with your own crap is, no matter where you are.