I got myself into a weird situation today. An acquaintance asked me what I was doing in YWAM and, being somewhat familiar with the vague details of my life went on to ask if I had joined up with The Freedom Project. His actual words were, Are you helping K with the trafficking thing she started up?

Funny. If I remember correctly, I started up The Freedom Project so it's a little hard to not join something I helped create.

I laughed sardonically as thoughts like these flashed through my head. He caught on and asked me to explain my reaction.

At which point I was stunned into silence.

I couldn't believe myself. Here I was getting all annoyed that I wasn't being credited for something I worked night and day to start, something I poured my blood, sweat and tears into. My disdainful reaction is probably understandable, it is after all a very human response. We love recognition for the work that we do... in fact we usually demand it. But behind a desire for recognition usually lies crippling pride, petty jealousy and a subtle desire for power--fires I don't want to play with. It caused me to question a few things about myself.

Like, for instance, if I need to be credited for the work I'm doing, am I doing the work simply to be credited? Translation: Would I work as hard and as passionately toward my goal if no one ever noticed? What is my motivation? Am I trying to get something out of all this? Do I need to be in the limelight? Do I need the glory?

I hope not. I've tried so hard to protect myself from pride. It kills me that in an off guard moment I responded to my friend the way I did. I don't care if he thinks K started the thing. I shouldn't care. Why does it matter? The point is that something has been started, people have joined and together we're going to make a difference in the world.

I never want to make this Project mine. It's not mine. It's God's. It was his idea to begin with, he started it--the rest of us just followed as best we could, given the talents and abilities we've been given.

But honestly, I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what being in the forefront can do to a person. I'm afraid I'll grow lazy in the fight against my own selfishness, pride and sin. I'm afraid I’ll start to forget how this Project started, how God revealed his heart and how I had no desire to do what he was asking of me. I'm afraid of getting comfortable and cocky, reveling in that place of power where one looks over their vast empire, laughs maniacally and says "Look What I Have Created."

From all the books, newspapers and tabloids I've read (or as in the case of tabloids, skimmed the titles while standing in line at the store) power is humanities greatest downfall. Quality people turn to drugs and alcohol when stardom makes their name commonplace. Politicians with nothing but the best in mind for their people end up slaughtering millions in order to control chaos. Heroes of epic stories falter and error when they realize the power their heroism wields over the minds and hearts of people.

It's tragic. It's true. It scares me. So how am I different?

The answer can only be God.

When given power, people make themselves god. They are above reproach, they know best, they think best, they quit seeking advice and they quit listening to advice given. They are full of pride; they are judgmental, self-sufficient, self-centered and just plain selfish, living for their own comforts and gain.

But when your focus is God and your desire is to do his will, you end up being governed by the laws of love. And love seeks the best in others for others. Love lays down its rights, it gives freely, it honors others and it serves. Love is not something that can obsess about itself. Even if love is in a position of power it cannot become distracted by the need to gain more power. A person who focuses on, pursues after and is transformed by God's love does not need to fear power. Power in that context is simply a God-given platform.

A platform to love more people and to help more people love each other.
A platform to reflect God to a greater audience, tell them who he is, how he changed my life and how he can change theirs too.