I was 14 when I gave my life over to God. It began at camp with God telling me to talk to a counselor about my relationship with him. There was no way. I was terrified of having a heart to heart with a counselor. They were old and intimidating and I didn't want to cause a scene. I wanted my relationship and decision for God to be an entirely personal endeavor. I told God I'd rather die than talk to a counselor.

But I didn't die and the next day, as the pressure on my heart grew, I wrote the word "no" over and over in my notebook until it filled an entire page.

I held out for two more days before finally giving in--sort of. I discussed with God the fact that there was no way I was going to talk to a counselor so if he was okay with it, I'd like to talk to my best friend instead. He and I both knew it wasn't the best option, but it was that or nothing....

This morning in church I had the amazing opportunity to witness a handful of people making decisions to follow Christ. One scene in particular captivated me. A young man, obviously emotional, stood hesitantly to the side of the group before an elder of the church noticed him. As the elder hugged him, the guy held on and buried his head in the man's chest. He wept and I could almost see the weight of rejection, anger, uncertainty, and loneliness fall from him. I saw relief. I saw acceptance. I saw a loving Christ holding his broken son in his arms, weeping with him and welcoming him home.

I saw Jesus.

Long ago, I ripped out the notebook page covered in no's and threw it away. My heart didn't say no any longer. The freedom of Christ was too compelling, his love too accepting. When I finally turned to God, it was with total relief. I didn't want to fight any longer, I was tired of running. Jesus met me with open arms and I buried my head in his chest and wept. I didn't care if I was talking to my friend or to a counselor or to the president himself, I was being held by Jesus and that's all that mattered.

That's all that ever matters.

It's nice to have a visual sometimes.