I haven't written anything in a while because I'm trapped between contemplativeness and impatience. It's hard to write anything contemplative when you don't feel like sitting down and taking the time to express the thought. And I don't like writing blogs that just tell you a timeline of what I've done in the past couple of days. Boring.... unless there's an interesting story in there somewhere.

So, impatiently not wanting to flesh out the issue, here are some stories that could be told in more detail.

I went night skiing on Saturday. Fun times, but icy. I went with a group from the base. One of my friends went off a jump, landed wrong and broke his neck... only we didn't know it at the time. He was ambulanced to the nearest hospital 2 hours away during which the ambulance got lost (that makes me feel really secure.... what if it was a life and death situation?!!). After a suspenseful two hours of tests, x-rays and CT scans the doctors told us everything was okay, no surgery needed, no paralysis, no brain damage. Phew! He's going to have to wear a neck brace for a while of course, but that's it. Amazing.

As far as ministry goes, I'm having a bit of a fight with God. He wants me to go and do more public speaking and I feel like I'm horrible at it and don't want to do it. Specifically, I need to find youth groups to speak at.... I keep hoping that some youth group will contact me and invite me to speak, but that's not going to happen. It's clear to me that I need to initiate... but for some reason I just can't. Arg.

I actually don't think I'm fighting God. I want to do it, but I'm held back by my pride and fear of public humiliation. I'm fighting myself. The scariest thing is asking someone if I can speak. It's like I assume I'm good at it or something, or that I think I have intelligent things to say.... Seriously, if someone came and asked me I would have no problem because if I did horribly they'd have to blame themselves for asking me.

There's more to say, but I'm impatient to get on with my day.