While I was cleaning up my computer today, I came across and interesting trend in my document files. It wasn't until I created a folder just for them that I realized how many I had. Unfinished Stories, twelve of them to be exact. Tweleve stories, ranging from short to epic sized, true and realistic to sci-fi and fantasy. Twelve stories lounging around my computer, abandoned and neglected but not completely forgotten. Twelve superbly brilliant plot ideas that inspired me enough to sit down at my computer and type a few lines or paragraphs or pages.... and then leave it forgotten as I wait for a lightning bolt to zap me with the all-illusive "ability to actually write." I must have the world’s longest version of writers block. It's lasted since I was thirteen, when I first began the doomed journey toward book writing.

My goal now is not to publish a book, but to finish even one story, that I begin (preferably an interesting and entertaining one that could maybe hopefully be published one day). It is true that my writers block is closely connected to my occasionally surfacing perfectionistic tendency. Actually, come to think of it, my prefectionistic side only surfaces when I write. Most unfortunate. If I didn't have the crazy urge to rewrite the first paragraph of every story a thousand times I may actually be somewhere by now.

But, for all my rewriting and editing, there has been a development in my ability to communicate through the written word. I have become a better writer. I can see it when I go back and read those twelve unfinished stories. I can describe things better, characters are more believable, dialogue flows better and I can work a scene from the angle I want, not just from the angle that is easiest to write. I am definitely no craftsman of the written word, but I have my moments. Which is probably why, after all these years of never completing a story, I'm still at it. (Although, I did try giving it up for a good year and a half.... but the build up of stories in my brain practically caused an aneurism. I was driven back to writing for the sake of my health).

My current writing project is a sci-fi book for young adults. The idea for the story was inspired by a dream I had (no surprise there since I have amazingly random, wacky, adventure-filled epic dreams). The unusual part of this story idea, however, is that it addresses the issues of discrimination and oppression. Unusual for me, because my stories usually don't have any point other than to be as entertaining as possible. For the stories sake, I hope this one gets finished. I for one would like to know how it all ends.