I realized today that I've gotten used to life here in the US. I'm beginning to take things for granted. The clean, crispy air doesn't surprise me any more. Neither do all the stars in the night sky. I have so easily melded back into this way of life that Korea seems unreal. Actually, I've hardly thought about my life back there. Sure, I've thought about the ministry tons and my friends some, but not about life.... buying groceries at a tiny mart down a crowded street, people selling everything known to man in the subways, the smells and stenches of city life. I was so glad to leave, so ready for a break that I didn't want to look back once I've left.

I finally looked back today. It was a sudden epiphany while I was jogging. I didn't always live here. In fact, I usually live in a place very, very different. It actually shocked me for a moment.

I'm really good at disassociating. In a good way and in a bad way. I must have been disassociating my life in Korea without knowing it. I think I need to start dealing with it.