The other day, Mrs. Bae, a Korean teacher who speaks excellent English, was translating for the Korean Vice Principle (who speaks marginal English) at a faculty meeting. This is what I heard:

VP: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Mrs. Bae: Tomorrow we are going to have our third graduation ceremony.
VP: Blah blah blah (x 30).
Mrs Bae: We are going to have the president of the university hand out the certificates of graduation.
Ro: (is doodling in her notebook and thinking about dinner which is still three hours away).

VP: (suddenly switching to English) The school board from LA will be attending graduation.
Mrs. Bae: The school board from LA will be attending graduation.
VP: We are honored to have them here.
Mrs. Bae: We are honored to have them here.
VP: After meeting with the board they will be taking the school out to dinner. That is, all the students, faculty and staff.
Mrs. Bae: After meeting with the board they will be taking the school out to dinner. All the students, faculty and staff.
Ro: (watches the unconscious English to English translation with much amusement. Neither the speaker or translator are aware of what they are doing).
VP: Dinner will be paid for by the board.
Mrs. Bae: Dinner will be paid for by the board.
Ro: (giggles. Unable to standby and watch it continue she is forced to inturrupt and tell Mrs. Bae the VP is speaking English).
Mrs. Bae: (embarrassed and sheepish, laughs for a good five minutes).
VP: (totally oblivious to everything keeps plodding along, pausing for translation. Doesn't notice there isn't any translation and keeps speaking and pausing anyway).


It was a very funny situation and I don't think many other people in our meeting realized what was going on. Everyone is so used to the speaking/translation rhythm. I spent the whole rest of the meeting thinking about the processes of translating.

As a slightly experienced (but poor) translater I have first hand knowledge of the strain it can put on a person's brain. While translating, both the Japanese I was hearing and the English I was speaking made sense but it was hard for them to coexist side by side. Each language wanted to dominate the full capacity of my limited brain space but they were forced to share. Occasionally, one would prevail and my translation would dwindle into, "The governor of the city was.... um... what's that word in English...." In my head, a war would be raging, English against Japanese. Japanese kamikaze were dive bombing English ships blasting them out of the sea of gray matter. English, momentarily disabled, counterattacked with simultaneous bombings of all Japanese strong holds. The Japanese were undaunted and strategized a massive infiltration aimed at destroying the English central intelligence agency.

My head hurt.

An hour and half, and seven million dead brain cells later, English and Japanese called for a truce. My translation was done, peace papers signed and English regained control of most brain functions. But the Japanese weren't finished yet. They would strike again, some day.